Divorce Myths

Custody Myths

                                                                                                                              

Myth:   I will get custody, because the kids tell me they are happy staying with me

Reality: Most likely the kids say the same thing to your spouse. Do you take them to the amusement park and have your spouse take them to the dentist?

Myth:   If I have "joint custody", my former spouse cannot change the residence of our child(ren) out of state without my permission

Reality: Not true. Whether or not a relocation outside of the state can be made by any parent, whether they have sole, joint or any other kind of custody depends upon the best interests of the child.

Myth:   If I have "sole custody", I can decide when the child(ren) see their mother/father

Reality: Not true. No parent has control over the children’s visitation with the other parent. If two parents cannot agree, the court will make the decision. It will not be made by the custodial parent alone.

Myth:   If I leave the house, I will lose custody of the children

Reality: Leaving the house and entrusting primary responsibility for your children to your spouse is likely to have consequences in any later custody proceeding. However, there are many reasons for leaving. There are some situations when it is the best decision for the children too. However, when considering this particular decision, it is highly recommended that you seek expert legal advice. There are certainly ways to negotiate this difficult passage without sacrificing your potential future relationship to your children.

Myth:  The divorce was her fault, so I will get custody of the children

Reality:  Unless the “fault” is something that affects the children, it is not particularly relevant. “Fault” may be a moral concept. However, unless the specific conduct relates in some way to parenting abilities and/or inclinations, it is not relevant in a custody dispute.

Myth:   If I have "joint custody", my former spouse cannot change the residence of our child(ren) out of state without my permission

Reality: Not true. Whether or not a relocation outside of the state can be made by any parent, whether they have sole, joint or any other kind of custody depends upon the best interests of the child.

Myth:   If he (or she) committed adultery, I will get custody of the children

Reality: Generally, adultery has no bearing on the best interests of the children unless, as a matter of fact, the adultery demonstrates that one parent has placed their own personal needs above and beyond those of the children. Unless it can be shown that the adultery has had an adverse impact upon the emotional well-being of the children, it will not have a significant effect upon a court's determination regarding custody. If a parent has been the primary source of the children's care and development, to the exclusion of the other parent, the fact that the former has chosen to commit adultery will not be allowed to be a reason to award custody to the allegedly more moral parent.

                                                                                                                                                                             

 

 

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